I AM:

I am a daughter, a sister, a Grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, and a friend.
I am a partner, a student, a young girl, and a grown woman.
I am confident and scared. Terrified and excited. I am loving and caring, and thoughtful and hopeful. I am sick and tired. Shy and Friendly and careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided and mislead. I am hard-working and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and dream my dreams. I pray to God and cry my tears. I smile on the outside while I am dying on the inside. I listen to others who won't listen to me. I walk on eggshells and I walk on fire. I believe in passion and am still waiting on true love. I care so much for you and I push you away. I want you but I am scared to get too close. I am everything and nothing all at once and all I want is for you to show me that everything will be okay.

~FeArLeSs~

FEARLESS is not the absence of fear.

It's not being completely unafraid.
To me,FEARLESS is having fears.
FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them.
To me FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.
FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before.
FEARLESS is walking into your freshman year of fifteen.
FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...even though every time you've tried before, you've lost.
It's FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change.
FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breath without them.
I think it's FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's FEARLESS to stop believing them.
It's FEARLESS to say "You're not sorry", and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS.
I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS.
Letting go is FEARLESS.
Then, moving on and being alright...that's FEARLESS too.
But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it.
You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happliy ever after.
~♥~♥~♥~

~Taylor Swift~

~STRONGER~

For once in my life I feel absolutely great! Hanging out with friends and going to the gym has really really helped me with my self-esteem and I have actually learned a few pointers in how to deal with life in general from a friend that I have recently been hanging out with. As far as the whole Grant (the ex-boyfriend), I can now say that I am completely over him 100%. Yes it took a year but that was my time to heal from all the hurt. When you get burned so many times by someone you really care about, your whole world falls apart and then that is when you take time out for yourself to find out who you are again so that you can move forward.
These are my rules of dating from now on:
1.) Don't be needy
2.) NEVER wait by the phone
3.) Don't go on dates unless they are the one hosting
4.) Don't get attached
5.) They must be a christian
By the way, I am not a needy person but if I can give any advice at all to anybody that would be one of them. I am strongly an independent individual.

I am 21 years old now as of April 12. I have grown as a person and I believe that I am getting better as the years go by. I started going to the gym Three months ago and I feel absolutely amazing. I tried on a summer dress that I have had a few years now and it was actually loose on me and I didn't struggle to zip it up. Of course I was smiling from ear to ear! :) I think I may wear that dress to church in the morning. I have not yet reached my goal weight since I am only losing inches so I still have a little ways to go. I am proud of myself for not giving up and sticking to it this time. Giving up on anything is not acceptable anymore.

Next weekend I am traveling to Tennessee with my cousin Pam and her family. I am so excited to get out of South Carolina for an entire month!!! I am really hoping that I can also visit with my cousin Jessica and spend time with her baby girl as well. I just know that this is going to be an amazing opportunity and I will be taking LOTS of pictures.