That Wasn't Me

This is a song that I wrote about a past relationship that turned into a complete disaster within three months. I knew him for seven years so he wasnt a stranger to me. We actually didn't see each other until 2 years after high school at Central Carolina when we were taking a medical course together. I regret the relationship so bad that it literally makes me sick. I look back and I can't see why I fell so hard for a guy that didn't have any morals and that really didnt meet my standards.

I was raised in the church where I knew right from wrong but when he came along, he corrupted me to do things that I never wanted to do. It nearly distroyed me because it was like I didn't know who I was anymore.

But now that I have changed my life around for the better once again, I realize that I deserve so much better than that. Nobody at my age especially should have to go through that. And OMG for those people who get married 21 years and younger... ARE YALL SERIOUS? I don't want to get married until I am like 28 or 29 but then again, it still may not happen that soon. Yall are still young and have a life to live... don't waste it on a relationship that most likely won't last. Live your life, learn new things, smile a lot, take lots of pictures, and most of all have fun (in the right way). Partying your life away won't get you much in life. My ex b/f did that and ended up dropping out of college just to "live it up." Such a waste!!

But I hope that this makes sense because this really did happen.

So if I can get a response please email me @ either sdarkangl06@aol.com

or hsmith4@mycctc.cctech.edu .

Thanks!!

That wasn't me

written by: Heather smith

9/23/2008

It was the day that I turned 20

Something just didn't feel quite right

But I was looking forward to being with you that night

I had your picture starring at me when I woke up

But I was feeling hurt

I knew that something was wrong

I felt it for so long

Then later you called and said you would be over

in just a while

A while never came

you put your trust at shame

~~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby, I was counting on you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping you were alright

and even bowed my head to pray

But didn't think God would hear me

Because of all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That wasn't me

~~~~~~~~~

Two days later you stabbed me in the heart

my life then fell apart

Something aweful, something hard

My life was forever changed

And we were afraid that I was with your child

I was afraid and alone

and you were already gone

I went up in front of the congregation

and repented for my sins

I just wanted this shame to end

~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby, I was counting on you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping that you were alright

and even bowed my head to pray

But I didn't think God would hear me

because of all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That wasn't me

~~~~~~~~~~

5 Months later I still feel the pain

Just like the pouring rain

I regret so much of what I've done

I regret loving you

Because you were one of the few

who couldn't stay true

My grey skies are slowly turning blue

as my thoughts wander away from you

Someday my life will shine

and your name will not enter my mind

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby, I just wanted you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping you were alright

and I even bowed my head to pray

But I didn't think God would hear me

Because of all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That wasn't me

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are so far gone now

I hope you're doing fine now

and wasting your life away

I don't waste my time to pray

because you weren't true enough to stay

It was all a mistake

Ya, Im doing fine now

Im living my life right now

I started a new beginning

with the hurt finally ending

What do you think about that

You're just a memory

~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby I just wanted you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping that you were alright

But, now I know God hears me

when I bow my head to pray

because I repented for all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That just wasn't me

No, that wasn't me

My Cousins Jessica and Stephany

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Isn't She Lucky

Three weeks ago this kitten was on the verge of death. It was a beautiful Sunday morning when I had went to church, only to come home after visiting a cousin to find my poor kitten lying in a box in my room with no strength to get up or to "meow." Before I left to go to church I noticed that my kitten wasn't interacting with any of the others and it would walk a certain distance then ball up and go to sleep. I knew it wasn't normal.

The mother wasn't feeding her kittens on a regular basis and this kitten needed nutrients to gain it's strength back. So I told my mom to fix me some warm milk and to bring me a straw hoping that I could get my poor little kitten nursed back to health. I fed it some milk, praying to God, "Please don't take this kitten!!!" So after I fed it I layed it back down to rest and within a few hours she had purked up and was on her feet, not quite ready to play. After the kitten woke up, I fed it a little bit of soft meat and then the kitten was fine. I started buying her some friskey's food in a can and she, along with her other siblings enjoys it.

I named my kitten Lucky because she was Lucky to have me there to nurse her back to health. This kitten is the weakest one so Im keeping her inside the house until she gets big enough to be able to survive on her own.

[Her face is a little dirty because when I feed her can food she dives her face into the food]

My Lucky Star

My Lucky Star

written by: Heather Smith

You look at me

I smile because you make me so happy

What did you do

to make me fall in love with you

You say that I make you smile

Sometimes I wonder how

I hope this lasts longer than just a Little while

I want to hold your hand

and you can be my best friend

You walk with me,

I tremble because you have that affect on me

Honey, you're everything

that I have been waiting for

maybe I am walking through and open door

Chorus: You're the reason that I count all myLucky stars

Your're the only one who hasn't made the effort to break my heart

I love you

Oh, I really do

My Lucky Star

You talk to me

I laugh because you are so funny

I lie in bed

start laughing about some things we've said

Baby, You are beautiful

You're all I think about

I just want to shout it all out loud

Chorus: You're the reason that I count all myLucky stars

Your're the only one who hasn't made the effort to break my heart

I love you

Oh, I really do

My Lucky Star

You sit with me

Nervous is all you know to be

Baby, it's alright

I know exactly what it's like

but it's just me so you don't have to be

Chorus: You're the reason that I count all myLucky stars

You're the only one who hasn't made the effort to break my heart

I love you

Oh, I really doMy Lucky Star

My Lucky Star

Yes you really are,

You're my lucky star!

Goodbye lost love

There once was a time

when I was in love with you

you built me up

you tore me down

How was I so dumb to think it was true

You said things that meant so much to me

you said you loved me

you said you would always be there

How was I so dumb to thinkthat you actually did care

One night you danced with me

we cuddled and you held me tight

you kissed me and everything else was out of sight

For three months you were all I could see

sometimes you said things that hurt me

I couldn't understand why I wasn't everything you wanted me to be

I did things only b/c you pressured me

And still I wasn't good enough

You ripped me apart

And all I needed was your love

you said you loved me but you never did from the start

You left me alone to bury the pain

I went through so much thatI felt I was going insane

I held your jacket everynight before I went to sleep

Only to wake up and weep

Never did I think it would end

Because of my love for you

and I kept hoping that

you would still want me again one day too

But then I realized that you

were never coming back

and that you weren't worth my time

Because you were slack

and not worthy of being mine

So don't call me

I don't want to hear your voice

Because you destroyed my love for you

and my dear you have to live with that choice

One day you will regret it so much more

Don't even know why I cared so much for

Pictures of Me