Im at a point in my life where everything is so confusing. I sit back and worry about the least little thing when I know that I shouldn't have all along. I worry about what people think of me, I worry about the next day, I worry about my family, I worry about my friends (if you want to call them that), and I just worry about stupid stuff. I am at the point now to where I just want to give up because I am tired of trying to grasp onto things and onto people who I can't keep.
Im sick and tired of people lying to me. EVERYBODY lies to me about something, no matter how little or how small, or how important or how unimportant it is. Im tired of people pretending with me. Why can't everyone just be honest? I have been lied to so many times that I don't trust anyone. I have been lied to by family, friends, and boyfriends. People make promises to me that they can't keep. People tell me things that I want to hear, not things that I need to hear. Im begining to let go gradually. IM beginning to not even care anymore. Sometimes I just want to go on a loooonnnnnnnngggggggg vacation and get away from everybody here. Even if I did leave, nobody would even care if I came back or not.
Another thing that I am so sick and tired of is the fact that there are so many racist people here. I have been dealing with racist issues since I was 12 years old and I have had it with people down here. I am tired of people looking down on my family just because of my step dad being black. Everyone down here acts like black people are animals or something!!! Black people are just like everyone else. They have hearts, they have feelings and they bleed red too... so what gives you the right to look down on a black person? They are human just like evryone else. Just remember this: God is no respector of persons.
Tonight there was this strange guy messaging me and I knew that he was a loser but I chatted with him to see what he was about.... well he was all cool with me until I told him about my family and then he blocks me because he is a racist. Look, im tired of people doing that to me!!! Not that I wanted to talk to him because I dont' want a relationship with anyone right now. I just can't feel the same way about someone else like I do about Grant. But it's the fact that guys always throw that up my face and it hurts. My ex boyfriends have broken up with me because of the way their families are and it's not even my fault. My mom married him because she loves him and he is good to us. That is the most important thing. My family is even like that... won't even come around us because of them being racist. I mean we argue, we fight and that is to be expected in families because EVERYONE goes through that at some point. Me and my parents have been in some aweful arguements to where I almost flipped one time but that is besides the point. The point is that we are family and blood is thicker than water and My family will always be there for me when my friends forget about me. My family will NEVER forget about me. When I need a shoulder or if I need help MY FAMILY will always be there. Friends come and go just like the wind. I have only had a few friends that stuck by me through high school and I only have maybe one friend now who I can tell anything to. I grew up with her and I went all through school with her and she is my best friend. We may not hang out but I still consider her a great friend. I have a few people from church that I can talk to and I love them to death just for being there... and I consider them family.
Racism is why when I get my career started and I pay off all of my bills, I am moving far away from the south so that I won'thave to put up with all of this. It's not running away, but it's called having a better life. there has to be a better life out there somewhere because it sure isn't here. People down here need to grow up and stop living in the past.
Im sick and tired of people lying to me. EVERYBODY lies to me about something, no matter how little or how small, or how important or how unimportant it is. Im tired of people pretending with me. Why can't everyone just be honest? I have been lied to so many times that I don't trust anyone. I have been lied to by family, friends, and boyfriends. People make promises to me that they can't keep. People tell me things that I want to hear, not things that I need to hear. Im begining to let go gradually. IM beginning to not even care anymore. Sometimes I just want to go on a loooonnnnnnnngggggggg vacation and get away from everybody here. Even if I did leave, nobody would even care if I came back or not.
Another thing that I am so sick and tired of is the fact that there are so many racist people here. I have been dealing with racist issues since I was 12 years old and I have had it with people down here. I am tired of people looking down on my family just because of my step dad being black. Everyone down here acts like black people are animals or something!!! Black people are just like everyone else. They have hearts, they have feelings and they bleed red too... so what gives you the right to look down on a black person? They are human just like evryone else. Just remember this: God is no respector of persons.
Tonight there was this strange guy messaging me and I knew that he was a loser but I chatted with him to see what he was about.... well he was all cool with me until I told him about my family and then he blocks me because he is a racist. Look, im tired of people doing that to me!!! Not that I wanted to talk to him because I dont' want a relationship with anyone right now. I just can't feel the same way about someone else like I do about Grant. But it's the fact that guys always throw that up my face and it hurts. My ex boyfriends have broken up with me because of the way their families are and it's not even my fault. My mom married him because she loves him and he is good to us. That is the most important thing. My family is even like that... won't even come around us because of them being racist. I mean we argue, we fight and that is to be expected in families because EVERYONE goes through that at some point. Me and my parents have been in some aweful arguements to where I almost flipped one time but that is besides the point. The point is that we are family and blood is thicker than water and My family will always be there for me when my friends forget about me. My family will NEVER forget about me. When I need a shoulder or if I need help MY FAMILY will always be there. Friends come and go just like the wind. I have only had a few friends that stuck by me through high school and I only have maybe one friend now who I can tell anything to. I grew up with her and I went all through school with her and she is my best friend. We may not hang out but I still consider her a great friend. I have a few people from church that I can talk to and I love them to death just for being there... and I consider them family.
Racism is why when I get my career started and I pay off all of my bills, I am moving far away from the south so that I won'thave to put up with all of this. It's not running away, but it's called having a better life. there has to be a better life out there somewhere because it sure isn't here. People down here need to grow up and stop living in the past.
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