That Wasn't Me

This is a song that I wrote about a past relationship that turned into a complete disaster within three months. I knew him for seven years so he wasnt a stranger to me. We actually didn't see each other until 2 years after high school at Central Carolina when we were taking a medical course together. I regret the relationship so bad that it literally makes me sick. I look back and I can't see why I fell so hard for a guy that didn't have any morals and that really didnt meet my standards.

I was raised in the church where I knew right from wrong but when he came along, he corrupted me to do things that I never wanted to do. It nearly distroyed me because it was like I didn't know who I was anymore.

But now that I have changed my life around for the better once again, I realize that I deserve so much better than that. Nobody at my age especially should have to go through that. And OMG for those people who get married 21 years and younger... ARE YALL SERIOUS? I don't want to get married until I am like 28 or 29 but then again, it still may not happen that soon. Yall are still young and have a life to live... don't waste it on a relationship that most likely won't last. Live your life, learn new things, smile a lot, take lots of pictures, and most of all have fun (in the right way). Partying your life away won't get you much in life. My ex b/f did that and ended up dropping out of college just to "live it up." Such a waste!!

But I hope that this makes sense because this really did happen.

So if I can get a response please email me @ either sdarkangl06@aol.com

or hsmith4@mycctc.cctech.edu .

Thanks!!

That wasn't me

written by: Heather smith

9/23/2008

It was the day that I turned 20

Something just didn't feel quite right

But I was looking forward to being with you that night

I had your picture starring at me when I woke up

But I was feeling hurt

I knew that something was wrong

I felt it for so long

Then later you called and said you would be over

in just a while

A while never came

you put your trust at shame

~~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby, I was counting on you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping you were alright

and even bowed my head to pray

But didn't think God would hear me

Because of all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That wasn't me

~~~~~~~~~

Two days later you stabbed me in the heart

my life then fell apart

Something aweful, something hard

My life was forever changed

And we were afraid that I was with your child

I was afraid and alone

and you were already gone

I went up in front of the congregation

and repented for my sins

I just wanted this shame to end

~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby, I was counting on you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping that you were alright

and even bowed my head to pray

But I didn't think God would hear me

because of all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That wasn't me

~~~~~~~~~~

5 Months later I still feel the pain

Just like the pouring rain

I regret so much of what I've done

I regret loving you

Because you were one of the few

who couldn't stay true

My grey skies are slowly turning blue

as my thoughts wander away from you

Someday my life will shine

and your name will not enter my mind

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby, I just wanted you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping you were alright

and I even bowed my head to pray

But I didn't think God would hear me

Because of all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That wasn't me

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are so far gone now

I hope you're doing fine now

and wasting your life away

I don't waste my time to pray

because you weren't true enough to stay

It was all a mistake

Ya, Im doing fine now

Im living my life right now

I started a new beginning

with the hurt finally ending

What do you think about that

You're just a memory

~~~~~~~~~~

[chorus]

Baby I just wanted you to be there

I knew you were out somewhere

partying your life away

I stayed up all night

hoping that you were alright

But, now I know God hears me

when I bow my head to pray

because I repented for all the mistakes with you I made

Man, I was so ashamed

That just wasn't me

No, that wasn't me